How Praising Your Partner During Sex Boosts Pleasure

Dirty Talk dirty talk foreplay

The fastest way to make your partner feel more sexually confident is to talk less about what they're doing wrong and more about what's already working.

Why It Works

Positive verbal feedback triggers dopamine release in the brain's reward circuitry, which heightens arousal and makes sensations feel more intense. When a partner hears specific praise, their anxiety about performance drops, and lower anxiety means less cortisol interfering with arousal and orgasm. Feeling observed and appreciated also engages the brain's social reward system, so physical touch starts to register as more pleasurable.

How To Try It

  1. 1. Start with a simple, specific compliment early in foreplay, such as telling your partner how good a particular kiss or touch feels.
  2. 2. Keep your praise concrete by naming the exact thing you like, like 'Slower, right there' or 'That pressure is perfect.'
  3. 3. Pair your words with a response in your body, such as leaning into their touch, moaning, or pulling them closer, so the praise feels genuine.
  4. 4. As arousal builds, shift from instructions to encouragement, like 'You're driving me crazy' or 'Don't stop, that feels incredible.'
  5. 5. Near climax, use your voice to name what you're feeling and thank them directly, which tends to intensify the moment for both of you.

Pro Tip

Pro tip: Praise the effort and attentiveness your partner shows, not only the technique, because feeling emotionally valued during sex lowers inhibition and often makes physical responses stronger.

Dr. Bloom is a private coach for couples. Free to start on iPhone and the web.