How to Choose and Apply Lube for Better Sex

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The lube that feels best on your hand is often the wrong one for your body, because friction problems usually come from what dries out, not from a lack of slickness.

Why It Works

Vaginal tissue produces less natural lubrication when arousal is low, stressed, or hormonally shifted, and friction then causes microabrasions and irritation that make arousal drop further. Water-based lube rehydrates the mucosal surface without disrupting the vaginal microbiome, while silicone-based lube lasts much longer because it doesn't absorb into tissue or evaporate as quickly. Reducing friction keeps nerve endings responsive and prevents the pain signals that cause tension and tightening.

How To Try It

  1. 1. Start with a water-based lube for your first try, since it's compatible with condoms and toys and is easy to wash off.
  2. 2. Apply a small amount to your fingers or your partner's and warm it between your fingertips for a few seconds before touching.
  3. 3. Add more lube to the vulva or penis during foreplay rather than waiting until friction starts to hurt, since reapplying early keeps things comfortable.
  4. 4. If sex is lasting a while or you're using a shower or pool, switch to silicone lube or add more water-based lube as it absorbs or dries.
  5. 5. During penetration, apply lube to the entry point and to the penetrating partner, then keep a small reserve nearby so you can refresh it at the moment of deepest contact.

Pro Tip

Pro tip: Silicone lube should never be used on silicone toys because it can degrade the material, so pair silicone lube with glass, metal, or hard plastic toys and use water-based lube with silicone toys.

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