How to Enjoy Oral Sex: Tips for Receiving Oral

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The best oral sex often depends less on the giver's skill and more on how relaxed the receiver's body is, since tension can quietly shut down arousal.

Why It Works

Arousal depends on the parasympathetic nervous system, which governs relaxation and blood flow to the genitals. When the receiver tenses their pelvic floor, thighs, or abdomen, sympathetic stress signals raise adrenaline and cortisol, which can inhibit the vascular engorgement needed for sensation to build. Slow, deliberate breathing and intentional muscle release shift the body back toward parasympathetic activity, making nerve endings more responsive to touch.

How To Try It

  1. 1. Before your partner begins, take three slow breaths, exhaling longer than you inhale, and let your jaw, hips, and thighs go loose.
  2. 2. Tell your partner where you want pressure and speed, using your hand on their head or hips to guide them without tensing up.
  3. 3. Keep your pelvis soft and let it rock gently toward their mouth instead of holding still, which keeps the movement natural and comfortable.
  4. 4. When sensation starts to build, slow your breathing and push your heels into the bed, pressing your pelvis up to meet their rhythm.
  5. 5. As you approach climax, exhale fully and let your whole body release at once, so the peak lands in a wave rather than a clench.

Pro Tip

Pro tip: Pelvic floor muscles that contract on the inhale and relax on the exhale amplify sensation, so pairing the breathing pattern with the movement can noticeably intensify the build toward orgasm.

Dr. Bloom is a private coach for couples. Free to start on iPhone and the web.