How to Receive Oral Sex and Get More Pleasure From It

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The fastest way to enjoy oral sex more is to stop trying to earn it and start directing it, because your partner can't read your body as well as you can.

Why It Works

Arousal depends heavily on the brain's reward system, and anticipation plus a sense of control lowers the anxiety that can dampen genital blood flow and sensation. When you signal clearly what feels good, your partner gets fast feedback, which keeps their attention on the spots that drive your nervous system toward orgasm. Relaxed pelvic floor muscles also respond more fully to stimulation, so letting go physically matters as much as the touch itself.

How To Try It

  1. 1. Get comfortable with your hips supported, using a pillow under your lower back if that helps you relax into the position.
  2. 2. Before they start, take three slow breaths and let your thighs fall open, which releases tension in your hips and pelvic floor.
  3. 3. Guide them with your hands: rest one hand lightly on the back of their head and use gentle pressure to show pace and where you want more or less contact.
  4. 4. Use specific sounds and short phrases like 'slower' or 'right there' so they can adjust in real time instead of guessing.
  5. 5. As you near climax, lift your hips slightly into their mouth and hold their head steady so they can maintain the exact rhythm that tips you over.

Pro Tip

Pro tip: Practice this on your own first with a hand or toy, so you learn your own rhythm and pressure preferences and can describe them precisely to a partner.

Dr. Bloom is a private coach for couples. Free to start on iPhone and the web.